Crazy First Grade Comments

Some of my teacher blogger friends have been posting crazy things their kids have said in these first few days of school, and being a first grade teacher, I've heard some crazy things! I always enjoyed what my fourth graders had to say, but it was usually me being blown away by some deep thoughts or big connections they made that surprised me. In first grade, it is usually me busting out laughing because the kids use some big words or ideas and have NO clue what they're really saying. Here are a few examples...

(Setting: snack time, Green pod)

N: Mmmm, I looove me some Fruit Loops. (repeat, repeat, repeat)
O: Why don't you DATE a Fruit Loop, then?!
N: What? I just loooove me some Fruit Loops.
J: Then why don't you make that Fruit Loop your WOMAN tonight?!
Me: What does that mean, J?
J: I don't know. I really don't know. But make that Fruit Loop your WOMAN tonight!

*****

(Setting: walking to recess)

J: (in a sing-song voice) I'm a camel boy, watch me hump- hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, HUMP!
M: Ugh, I always hate camel boys.
J: What? I am the first camel boy. How can you always hate camel boys?
M: I just have said for like forever, "If I see a camel boy, I hate him."
Me: Boys, don't say "hate".

*****

(Setting: me at my desk, student walks up, almost in tears)

O: Mrs Jones, something's wrong!
Me: What?
O: (puts hand on forehead) I am a really bigger forgetter!
Me: Well, that's okay... we all forget things.
O: No, I forgot everything you just said!!!
Me: You forgot the directions?
O: No, like everything you've said since the first day!!!

*****

(Setting: walking down the hall)

D: (who is wearing a giant birthday crown and birthday sticker, and to whom we've already sung Happy Birthday twice) Hey, Mrs. Jones, did you know its my birthday today?
Me: Yes, D, I did know that.
D: And guess what? I have to get these two little teeth pulled out.
Me: Why? On your birthday?
D: Well, not today, but later. My momma says I have to get my teeth pulled out because they're making my breath (read: breff) stank!
Me: I don't think your breath stinks.
D: Me, neither! (thinking...) You know what, Mrs. Jones? I think my Momma needs HER teeth pulled out! I think HER breff stank!!