Today is Black Friday, and that means I was out early on the hunt for great deals. I had gotten an email a few days ago from Kohl's outlining their post-Thanksgiving sales. I can't go into great details because most of the bargains I was hunting are for Christmas gifts, but I can say that there were items on sale that inspired me to get up this morning at 3:13 am! I was up and ready to roll out by 3:35 ... too early!
I got to Kohl's, got in the insanely long line waiting for the doors to open, and froze my butt off waiting for my turn to enter the store. As I was waiting, that's when it happened. The beginning of the hysteria. I heard several people in front and behind me talking about one particular item that was on sale. I quickly realized that many people had come to Kohl's for this one item only. I had considered picking up one of these for myself and Katie Anne, but I had no idea that...
had taken over at Kohl's! When the store's doors opened and we were allowed to rush in, everyone that had been waiting around me headed straight towards the Snuggies! It was a Snuggie wave, and I got washed away with it! The excitement, the hysteria, the push for Snuggies ... how could I resist it? It was hypnotic ... all I could think of was ... I want Snuggies ... I need Snuggies ... I've got to get some Snuggies! When the rush of people arrived at the display, there were two employees on hand to stop the mad grab for Snuggies - there was a three Snuggie limit! Whoa - even more reason to grab some Snuggies when they're limiting the purchase of them! I grabbed a leopard print for myself, only to hear that there were only 5 leopard print Snuggies in the store! Wow! Thank goodness I got my hands on one! I grabbed a pink child's Snuggie for Katie Anne and a blue adult Snuggie for Saunders ... nevermind that Saunders never said he wanted one ... the Snuggie race was on!
I was busily stuffing the Snuggie boxes into my bag when I heard a commotion on the other side of the display and realized ... there were dog Snuggies over there! And, there was a three dog Snuggie limit! And, the larges were already gone! These Snuggies were flying off the shelves! So, I grabbed two medium pink dog Snuggies and started shoving them into my bag. Of course, Abby and Ginger needed Snuggies! Right? Right?!?!
Then, I overheard a ruckus which brought my Snuggie grab-a-thon to a halt. Two adult women were arguing over a leopard print Snuggie. One wanted it for her daughter, the other for her granddaughter. (Have I mentioned how exclusive the leopard print Snuggie was? I think I have. Totally, totally hot Snuggie... only five in the store, people!) I paused there for a moment or two, and my Grinch heart grew three sizes right there in the Snuggie aisle. In a rush of Christmas Spirit, I graciously gave one of those women my leopard print Snuggie in exchange for her bright pink adult Snuggie. I stopped the Black Friday Snuggie Fight single-handedly, just like a Snuggie superhero! They were so grateful, and the Kohl's employees thanked me profusely for being so generous with my leopard print Snuggie.
Now, I was riding high on a wave of good karma. I finished the rest of my purchases (and did a good job sticking to the list I'd made), waiting in the crazy-long checkout line, and got everything stuffed into four giant shopping bags and started walking the trek back to where I'd had to park. As I walked, and the cold air blasted away my shopping-induced insanity, only one thought kept crossing my mind ... Why in the hell had I bought five Snuggies?
Was it the hysteria? The rush? The heightened intensity of being limited to three Snuggies? Or could it have been the idea of my dogs, happily playing backgammon or relaxing on the couch or channel surfing wrapped in matching bright pink Snuggies as the box suggests?
For whatever reason, there was a Snuggie craze in Kohl's this morning, and I became a part of it. Now, I had five Snuggies to show for my efforts ... and some explaining to do to my husband, who had no idea we were in the Snuggie market.
When Saunders woke up, I told him all about my shopping successes ... and the Snuggie Fest '09. He told me that he'd heard on Good Morning America that Snuggies are airplane blankets with armholes. I told him that surely he was wrong! How could all those people be that insane for Snuggies if they weren't amazing? Why would Kohl's limit them to three - and guard them! - if they were just thin fleece with holes? I told him I know several people who have professed love for the Snuggie, and I was sure we would enjoy them. (Plus, the two adult Snuggies came with bonus booklights, and Katie Anne's Snuggie came with no-skid socks. Score! And, who can forget that precious picture of dogs playing backgammon? How could Snuggies not = domestic bliss?)
Well, tonight, we tried on the Snuggies.
And, in Katie Anne's words, "I am sorry Snuggie, but we do not like you."
Sigh... the Snuggies were a bust. They were thin, and they itched a little bit, and they had a lot of static and clung to us in annoying and unflattering ways. They probably would be fine lounging blankets, but by this point our Snuggie expectations were so, so high... no Snuggie could ever live up to them. Maybe I should've held onto my leopard print Snuggie... the box did say "premium". And, the worst part was that the dogs never sat down to channel surf or play backgammon in them.
So, my precious, hard-won Snuggies are repacked, stacked up with the receipt taped to the top of the box, waiting to be returned to Kohl's. I wasted valuable shopping moments playing Grab-a-Snuggie, only to be disappointed later. Oh, well - you can't win 'em all ... especially when you're part of a Snuggie mob. I can only hope the recipient of my leopard print Snuggie will have a very Merry Christmas!